How neglectful can I be?! Apparently, my new years resolution was NOT to be more consistent about blogging! It was, however, to become more organized in my approach to therapy. Things are getting crazy in my neck of the woods - graduate school starts up again next week and I begin practicum, i.e. seeing clients, which is just totally crazy to me because I don't feel ready at all.
What I do feel ready for is to teach my kiddos about thinking errors! When I first started at my current job in May 2013, the previous year's kiddos were learning about thinking errors, which was something I had previously heard called "Stinkin' Thinkin'" which I think is just cute and clever, especially if you work with little ones. Teens may not find it quite so cute. My kids are kind of in between, so I will more than likely err on the side of caution and use "Thinking Errors" whenever we talk about this.
So what is a thinking error? It is just what it sounds like - a thinking error is an irrational pattern of thinking that doesn't fit with the reality of the situation. These patterns can make us feel bad about ourselves and become the inner dialogue that our kids have with themselves without even realizing it. Everyone does this!
What does a thinking error look like? Here are 10 examples you could use.
1. Black-and-white thinking
Everything is either good or bad, there is nothing in between. Either you are a super star at a sport, or you totally stink. Either you are really good looking, or you are the most atrocious looking person in the world.
2. Unreal ideal
Making unfair comparisons between yourself and others. When you do this, you compare yourself with people who have a specific advantage in some area. Making unfair comparisons can leave you feeling inadequate.
3. Filtering
You only look at the negative parts of a situation, and ignore the positive parts.
4. Personalizing: The self-blame game
When you personalize, you blame yourself for anything that goes wrong, even when it’s not your fault or responsibility.
5. Mind-reading
We assume that others are focused on our faults and weaknesses—but this is often wrong! Remember: your worst critic is probably you.
6. Exaggerating
When things go wrong, you might have a tendency to exaggerate the consequences and imagine that the results will be disastrous.
7. Over-generalizing
Over-generalizing is a lot like exaggeration. When you over-generalize, you exaggerate the frequency of negative things in your life, like mistakes, disapproval and failures. Typically you might think to yourself: I always make mistakes, or everyone thinks I’m stupid.
8. Fact versus feeling
Sometimes you might confuse your thoughts or feelings with reality. You might assume that your perceptions are correct.
9. Labeling
When you use label, you might call yourself or other people names. Instead of being specific—for example, saying “That was a silly thing to do” —you make negative generalizations about yourself or other people by saying things like “I’m ugly,” or “she’s an idiot.”
10. ‘Can’t Stand-itis’
Some people get intolerant when they have to do things they don’t enjoy. They tell themselves that they “can’t stand” certain things instead of acknowledging that they don’t enjoy them. As a result, they easily become frustrated and angry.
There are a TON of thinking errors, not just this list of 10. But I'm sure we can see these thinking errors happening with our kiddos and with ourselves sometimes. It is important to remember that kids use these to justify being aggressive, taking risks, getting rid of the responsibility, or manipulation of others.
I found this super awesome website called I Don't Stink that is all about "Stinkin' Thinkin'". There's a yellow barrel on the left hand side that says "So You Think You Stink?" that will take the kiddos to a quiz about their own negative thoughts. Once they complete the quiz, they can see their "forecast" and look at the "prescription" for their stinkin' thinkin'. That's my plan for today! :)
I am fighting some nasty flu like thing, so I'm hoping to kick it before long...
Good luck and stay safe!
